If you didn’t hear, my last trip to Italy kind of sucked because of the weather…that’s our car after work in the 2^nd one.

Can you imagine fighting a world war in that…props to the soldiers.  Go France! France 2, Germany 0.  Yeah!  Anyways shit kinda sucked, but I still managed to get uber wasted (2 dots above the u) on my last nite.  Recap…I went out to see my I-talian friend/colleague play in a band.  Shit was cool, he was the drummer.  I was drinking straight Bombay Sapphire all night because it was easy to order.  Needless to say about 18 of those straight will fuck up the best of them.  I thought I was going to bed after the concert ended at midnite, but he took me out to Milano where we drank much beer.  I can not confirm or disconfirm how much we had, but I got uber fucked.  When I woke up at 7am in the morning, it was by a gentle shaking of my leg by hotel staff.  Oops, I did not hear the alarm or wakeup call & it was time for my fucking flight.  Shucks!  It's a good thing I decided to sleep in my going out clothes and not my birthday suit.  At least I was already dressed.  Slept the whole 12 hour way back to the zone…dunno why though.  Guess I was tired from the night before.  On my arrival to the zone I went to the big Discount Tire party looking like a champ. 

Another anecdote from that nite brought up to speed yesterday…after we were successfully NOT allowed in a club (at 6am as he reminded me last nite…hmm, is that why I didn’t wake up at 7am on my own?  I guess we may never know.  I knew we weren’t allowed in, but not sure of the time until yesterday.), I was smoking a cigarillo in the car on the way back to the hotel (apparently after 6am).  Once I was done with it, it was time to throw it out the window.  Shit!  The window was closed and I now have burn holes on my only rain jacket.  Side note: the holes were fresh news to me when I was in KOrea the following week.  They had mysteriously appeared on my way to KOrea, but the memory did come back to me until after I thought about how it could have happened the last time I wore it.  Sorry I digressed…needless to say, my I-talian friend and I had some blank tape from that nite.  I declare that night a drinking draw since I didn’t realize what we were getting into when the nite started, and he didn’t remember the cigarillo incident.  I think it’s fair to say the current tally is…0-0-1 in I-talian drinking.  Added bonus…we didn’t die driving back :)  Yeah living!

Fuck!  As I write this, the computer just shut down, I lost my previously written story, and my nose started bleeding with a slight drizzle.  I guess I’m dried out from the drinking and flying.  Oh well, I’m young right?

Sorry I digress again, but now that you’re up to speed & here’s last nite’s events.  What fucking story is this again?  Oh yes…’Kiss of Death, question mark’  I meet the I-talian guy and he gives me the hand shake with kissing on both cheeks godfather style (Brando pictured below, but that looks gay…it was NOT like that.  Not that there’s any thing wrong with that).  Now is that a bad or good thing?

Wasn’t ready for that, but OK.  A little research reveals the following…of course, the kissing is I-talian tradition and conflicting stories show that the manner of kissing both sides allows the other person to see that you’re not hiding any weapons or what not behind your back on either side.  It’s reserved for close family and friends.  Yay, I’m in the ‘family’ now and accepted as an honorary I-talian.  I stand by my previous beliefs…it pays to get uber wasted with people.  You make friends that way :)

So I’m part I-talian now and he takes me to meet his wife and child on the way to drink in Milano again.  This never happened before.  Up until the uber nite, we were colleagues.  Now we’re family.  He's my friend :)

He’s a big guy too and loves the drink (similar to how Henrybear loves the cock…can’t get enough of it).  I like this guy; he gives me a good drinking challenge without stating it, but its time for us to keep up with one another.  Reminds me of Meric (that crazy Turk dude)…yeah Meric! 

OK, so we go out.  Here ye here ye…let the drinking commence.  We go to dinner and get buckets of beer.  Yes, real buckets holding 5 bottles o’ beer.  I guess that’s how you order one beer here.  Yay!  We have a good time at dinner and start to chat it up w/ what appears to be American girls.  They’re from Boston & New York.  Neat.  So Alberto (the I-talian cigarette chimney who now has a name), tells them that once he drops 20 kilos (about 45ish pounds) he will got to America and surf.  He says he will drop the weight to fit into his pantyhose.  EEREREE (record squealing).  Pantyhose?!?  What the fuck buffalo bill?  Me and the girls start cracking up; this must be a mistake.  We let him in on what those are and he changes it to a speedo, then says fuck it, he’s going naked.  Wow, go I-talian guy named Alberto!  Side note from that convo:  he went to New York when he was 16 to stay with his sister who was in skewl there.  When he was there, he learned that drinking is a no-no for most underage people.  So he hit the marijuana joint that was 2 feet long.  Um dude, that’s called a bong.  After one month of that, he got tired and was able to get a fake ID.  Yeah underage I-talian drinking! 

Dinner finishes up and we now go to the club we weren’t let into last time.  On the way we meet some I-talian girls.  I call the blonde cuz the other is bald.  That’s for him since he’s married.  We hang out with them for a while and its time to go home at lets say 2am.  I think he asked the girls about getting a hotel for a lil bit.  I can not confirm or disconfirm that, but I think I picked it up in I-talian.  Didn’t happen though :( 

Morning comes quick, but I wake up on time and wait for him to pick me up.  Oh yeah, it was nice to wake up and not die again.  Drinking and driving rules in Italy.  He already scares the shit out of me sober.  I try to block out the drives home.  Thanks alcomohol.  In the morning I wait for over a half hour for him to pick me up at the telly.  I now declare the I-talian drinking tally at 1-0-1.  Aaaahhhh, good times had by all.  So that’s the short story long.  Hope you had a good time, I know I did from what I remember.