Small Feet, Fat Heads, & More Fun

Posted by 4nyay at 7/19/2006 5:52 AM
Categories: On A Serious Note
Dr. Nick:  Hello everybody!  Why don’t you tell me what’s on your mind today.  Just let it flow. 

4nyay:  Well then, here it fuckin goes….man, what the fuck is up w/ these people.  I mean seriously, who the fuck has that tiny of feet, but yet such a gargantuanly enormongously huge fucking head?  I don’t get this.  Why in the fucking blue hell am I being tormented oh so much?  This is becoming refuckingdiculous.  Am I fucking cursed?  Did I shit in somebody’s cereal that nobody sent me a damn memo about?  I already have furniture problems.  Please Dr. Nick, tell me I’m not infuckingsane in my normal sized head.  Is everybody here a damn orange on a fucking toothpick?  So I’ve been on the search for I don’t know how fucking long for these particular shoes, but they do not exist here.  I saw a damn unicorn the other day though.  I’ve pretty much damn fucking near given up on those though, so I turned my muh fuckin attention to getting a fitted hat, since they have copious amounts of those here.  Any size, color, shape, team, etc.  Yes, I’ll take a 6 & 7/8 please.  Size 7 is the smallest they tell me.  Get the fuck outta here.  What in the blue hell to children wear?  Don’t you fucking dare tell me that babies are born w/ a ginormous fucking head right out they momma!  My head isn’t that tiny you cocksucker.  Alls I wanted was a motherfucking hat that would keep the rain out of my eyes.  Sheesh.  Here Dr. Nick, here are some photos I took that help describe what the fuck I’m talking about.


example 1

a real police officer here


 me holding one of their feet

me walking through umbrella town

Dr. Nick:  Wow.  Do you feel better now?  You must.  But I do have one question…what is that last photo of?

4nyay:  Oh my fucking goodness.  Let me tell you.  I took that photo after a rainy day.  Everybody walks around with at least 2 fucking umbrellas, but NOBODY KNOWS HOW THE FUCK TO USE THEM.  It’s like those assholes that wear huge fucking backpacks and try to squeeze by you.  But to fucking do this, they turn to the side.  KHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAN.  Dude, you’re fucking backpack is wider than you.  Are you trying to take me out?  Pull your head out of your fucking ass.  Oh wait, it’s too big to pull back out.  KHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAN .  People who do that shit drop 2 notches in my book.  If I kinda liked you, I now kinda hate you.  You just skipped over the ‘eh’ area.  People, please just use a fucking raincoat w/ a hood.  That’s what they make them for.  Your motherfucking umbrella pokes me in the eye when you walk by & when you lift it up higher, you just bring it from my jugular to the eye level.  Please think before you walk around.

Dr. Nick:  You need a vacation.  Go clear your mind somewhere where it doesn’t rain. 

Editor’s note:  I have left out the location of the above events so I do not piss off or stereotype a particular group of people or what not.  I’m not talking about you, unless you fit the description.  That is your call though.

 

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